A Flexible Life
by Amber Callahan, PlantFit
I just read over the first post I wrote to kick off the 40 Day Revolution. I have made some tough decisions in the last 5 weeks and have mindfully worked towards my initial goal of finding balance and joy in my personal and professional life. During week 6 I have been reflecting on these small victories and am not looking at Friday (the last day technically of the Revolution) with finality.
Baron Baptiste says in week 6 that "great spiritual triumph is the willingness to mentally renew, change and grow continually throughout the many seasons of our lives." We must be open to living a "flexible life." I love that statement. I have resisted change so often in my life and just began really wrapping my brain around the idea that EVERYTHING changes, things fall apart, and everything that has a beginning has an end. Logically, I have always known that, but I think it's so hard to accept when you make decisions and you think your life should "look a certain way."
I know, though, that I have grown in the last year and even more in the last 5 weeks with this Revolution. The fact that I am mentally better able to handle conflict and change was put to the test Monday evening. I had a conflict with my ex-husband that was probably one of the worst we have had since we were married over 11 years ago. I made the decision years ago that I would not let anger and resentment towards him have any control over me. Yet, there have been a few instances in the last 11 years where we have experienced conflict. This past Monday night was one of the worst with the conversation sending me into a complete rage. However, in the aftermath of that conversation I have been able to move forward. In the past I would have dwelled on and analyzed the situation for days reliving that same feeling of rage and anger over and over. Instead, Monday night, after a conversation with someone that helped me think logically about the situation, I was able to very easily make a decision about how to move forward, communicate those expectations to my ex-husband, and move past it. That's not to say that the things he said or the reality of the situation does not hurt me, but it is not controlling my mind in the aftermath. That is a victory for me especially given my history with him.
In week 6, Baptiste also says that triumph happens in small things with those small victories accumulating into great ones. My ability to handle this situation without diving into a total tailspin in the days following is a victory. My ability to say no to people, things and situations that are not serving me well are victories. My ability to articulate what I need and want in my life is a victory. My ability to follow through with what I've committed to myself is a victory. My ability to not berate myself when I don't follow through is a victory. My ability to be present more and more in my life is a victory. My ability to recognize that it's okay that I still am not present all the time in my life is a victory. My ability to stop and look at the sky and take in the beauty of the day is a victory. My ability to let things go is a victory. My ability to not analyze the hell out of the new boy in my life is a victory. My ability to just enjoy said new boy and his company without regard to the outcome is a victory. My ability to put my phone down and focus on my kids is a victory. My ability to give myself permission to take care of myself is a victory. My ability to stop feeling guilty about taking time for myself is a victory. My ability to recognize all of these things in my life as victories is a victory in itself. All of these things are part of my "lifelong path to lightheartedness." How amazing does that sound...to be at peace and to find joy in life? Isn't that what we're all searching for ultimately? So why not celebrate the little victories along the way?
I started the 40 Day Revolution in a better place than I was 8 months or so ago, but was still dealing with some anxiety and sadness. I set out on this 40 Day journey with the expectation that I'd find some balance and joy, knowing full well that there would still be down moments.. I obviously didn't expect to come out "perfect" at the end of it, but I can say that I am coming out improved and with more confidence and more clarity. I have been more present to my mind, body and spirit than I had been for months. I even made a few changes to my diet (which was pretty clean to begin with as a vegan) that are sticking long term. The Revolution and what I have taken from the readings has even changed how I work with my clients. I am so glad that I decided to take part in the 40 Day Revolution even thought I wasn't perfect throughout and the commitment scared me initially. I know that I am excited to continue on the path to lightheartedness being open to growing and learning along the way.
Share your small victories here or with someone. Remember that our light and our good can be the light for someone else.
Oh, and to remind myself daily of where I have come from and of the final destination, I got this on Saturday. Read more about the lotus here in a post I wrote back in September.